Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Parenting Adult Children is Like a Tightrope Act & a Minefield

All my kids are grown. Yes. I'll say it again for myself. ALL MY KIDS ARE GROWN. Just how long does it take for a parent to fully understand that fact once it's true? I never dreamed how hard it would be to simply assent to that fact. Unsolicited advice from a parent is usually not received by adult children the way the parent intended it to be. Therefore, once again, for the umpteenth time,  I resolve to not offer advice unless it is sought. Oh God that is a very, very difficult resolution to keep.

When disaster (in whatever form) strikes one of your own, it is a parent's instinct to step in and help. If the help is sought, fine. There have been times when each of my three kids have done just that. I was more than willing and did my best to accommodate each time. But, there have been other times when my counsel has not been sought, but advice was given anyway. The disaster was often made worse.

Parenting adult children is truly a minefield!

Someday, perhaps, all my children will come to realize that this job, this difficult, often impossible job of parenting never ends....at least that's the way it appears to most of us who have acquired that status. I hope all my kids understand, and in some cases, excuse their often bumbling parents for stepping over the line on occasion. Everything I do for them (albeit sometimes TO them) is done out of an all-consuming love for those offspring.

*I hereby highly resolve to withhold advice, unless it is sought. So help me God!
(regardless of the consequences suffered by that adult child who so carelessly failed to solicit my sage advice.)

Oh God! Here I go again......Kids you know I love you...right?! 

2 comments:

  1. Timely for me. I agree.

    Having said that, it's biological. Wired in our brains with those parental hormones and neuropathways that never get pruned. *grin* That's my story and I'm sticking to it. If we stopped wanting to help then there'd be something wrong with us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ain't it the truth! Thanks for sharing.

      Delete